briefgames

Hawai’i Fridays Follower Personal Vibes Statement

Though I am new to the splort, I have gathered what I know to be a series of fundamental truths and rights of Blaseball fans. As a loyal, albeit fresh, follower of the Hawai’i Fridays, it deeply pains me to upset the vibes of any set of proceedings, but I feel I must speak. AllContinue reading “Hawai’i Fridays Follower Personal Vibes Statement”

Crabs Are Cheaters

Evidence that the crabs intend to lie to the court, #main channel in crabitat discord. Paykoh

Define “Great”

In the interest of not having the case be decided solely by the fact that “The commissioner is doing a great job”, I have compiled a PowerPoint showing that there are, in fact, several possible definitions of “great”, and that that statement does not prove which one it is using. I take the bold stanceContinue reading “Define “Great””

Interpretation of Guy Flieri’s Sauce Stains

Superior Court of the Immaterial Plane. Sunbeams Court Wild Wings Legal Team, Case Sports BEGIN TRANSCRIPT (Three figures in hooded orange robes and Chicken masks address the camera.) CHIPOTLE: Is this thing on…Yes there’s the little red light. Um…so we are here to give evidence. GARLIC: You should say who we are. CHIPOTLE: Good point.Continue reading “Interpretation of Guy Flieri’s Sauce Stains”

Forest and Anonymous Relation (audio entry)

You were looking for evidence. You opened a drawer. There was a bottle of [REDACTED] and a tape recorder in it. It was dusty. You have in your inventory: an lost voice recording of a report from Noperative (Noir Operative). You listen to it. Parker is named. It might be of interest, or it mightContinue reading “Forest and Anonymous Relation (audio entry)”

🏝

Information on the Fridays’ trouble with the Close! decree due to Parker’s actions: 🏝 Is legal drama vibes?? Anyways: after “Close! The Book” passed in the season 11 elections, the following passage was added to the forbidden book: This has been of great concern to the Fridays, as our traditional team culture has been toContinue reading “🏝”

Sosa Hayes (a singular adult) weighs in

Burke called me and asked me to submit an ‘amicus brief’ so I gloogled it. here you go. Sosa Hayes, a singular adult

Amicus Brief from Holden Milk Legal, on behalf of the Charleston Shoe Thieves

(Note: This document can be found in .pdf form on Holden Milk Legal’s website. We are republishing it here, with their permission, in order to have all of our evidence collected in 1 place, but we really recommend you check out their site!)

Personal Impact Statement

A statement of personal impact from a member of the 1% who wanted to get eaten and didn’t, and who isn’t super happy about that. Filed in support of the Millenials and the 99% Anonymous member of the 1% A personal statement of impact From a prospective member of the 1%, anonymously filed for theattentionContinue reading “Personal Impact Statement”

Spies Code?

(Note: We don’t currently have a cryptographer on staff. Help?) QRSNZNGVBA PBCLEVTUG VASEVATRZRAG HFR BS VZNTR Gallium UPDATE, from the “Wings’ Forensic Team” which apparently does exist: 13 reads: Defamation Copyright Infringement, use of image. So… take from that what you will.