Though I am new to the splort, I have gathered what I know to be a series of fundamental truths and rights of Blaseball fans. As a loyal, albeit fresh, follower of the Hawai’i Fridays, it deeply pains me to upset the vibes of any set of proceedings, but I feel I must speak. AllContinue reading “Hawai’i Fridays Follower Personal Vibes Statement”
Category Archives: Testimonial
Forest and Anonymous Relation (audio entry)
You were looking for evidence. You opened a drawer. There was a bottle of [REDACTED] and a tape recorder in it. It was dusty. You have in your inventory: an lost voice recording of a report from Noperative (Noir Operative). You listen to it. Parker is named. It might be of interest, or it mightContinue reading “Forest and Anonymous Relation (audio entry)”
Personal Impact Statement
A statement of personal impact from a member of the 1% who wanted to get eaten and didn’t, and who isn’t super happy about that. Filed in support of the Millenials and the 99% Anonymous member of the 1% A personal statement of impact From a prospective member of the 1%, anonymously filed for theattentionContinue reading “Personal Impact Statement”
Tillman Henderson
This, is not physical “evidence” it… is a testimony, approximately. Just look at it. A person who refuses to state their opinion on Tillman Henderson, also known as gmanty, also known as INCINERATED_faker_pope_sunman Tillman Henderson was originally a crabs player, as you may know. As you ALSO may know, Tillman Henderson is a jerk andContinue reading “Tillman Henderson”
Toast Guerta
An open letter from my client Toast Guerta Image text: An Absolute Disgrace An open letter to the CEO Commissioner Prime Minister “This is absolute horse sh*t. Due to the league not having the ability to disperse critical funds to the bottom 99%, many people have had to make undue adjustments on their lives. ForContinue reading “Toast Guerta”
Don Mitchell, San Francisco Lovers
Comment: This is a warning. Don Mitchell, San Francisco Lovers Image text in ransom-note style cut-out letters: If you don’t let us eat the rich, I will just steal the money anyway. I’ve done it before and I will do it again. – Don Mitchell
keeper_sins (Yes, the same one who’s the judge & jury in the case)
(Disclaimer: uhh… we’re still learning about the rules of Sunbeams court, but apparently this is OK there?) Comment: As the judge I think this accurately sums up my personal stake in the case, and makes it clear I can be relied upon to provide a fair ruling. keeper_sins
Oscar Dollie
Comment: i want to Do Testimony , put me on the ” Stand” so i Speak,i Hunger and i Will be Heard Oscar Dollie – @ozdollie (me)
Audio Entry: Tartarus Boatman Fund
The optimal experience for this evidence is through listening, so if you’re able, please listen by clicking the image above, or right here! It is really well done. However, if you’re not able or not in a position to do so, we’ve done our best to transcribe the piece below: (Spooky noises in the background)Continue reading “Audio Entry: Tartarus Boatman Fund”
dan from hellmouth
when the season started i didnt get my money from killing rich people n somehow ended up in negatives. if i had more money this wouldn’t have happened. also this is unrelated but i am requesting an ability to legally be allowed to boo during court hearings. no heckling, just booing. love from hellmouth!
Eat The Rich Class Action 