sorry for submitting late, but i needed to get to a safe location first – i got some unnerving footage from one of the cameras of wherever that commish guy lives and i think i know where some of that 1% money went anonymous whistleblower
Parker personally owes me, the manager of the Hellmouth Sunbeams Pseudo-official Twitter Account, twenty (20) American dollars. I don’t remember what it was for, specifically. A couple sandwiches, maybe. A used copy of Knack 2 for the PlayStation 4. But there is a debt, and that debt is unpaid. Consider this evidence as to theContinue reading “You owe the Sunbeams manager $20, Parker.”
Burke called me and asked me to submit an ‘amicus brief’ so I gloogled it. here you go. Sosa Hayes, a singular adult
A classified spy document. It’s mostly still redacted, but I think the non-redacted parts should still be useful. And maybe you can magically un-redact it. Also, you can’t tell anyone who sent you this, for security reasons. In fact, you can’t tell people anyone sent this at all. If anyone asks, you found this stuckContinue reading “Classified Spy Document”
THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DISAPPROVED BY DECENTRAL COMMAND “Sincerely, [REDACTED], Senior Shadowbroker, Houston Spies”
Leaked galley print of the first page of the Miami Herald. Embargoed, shared by an anonymous source. Transcript follows image (Editor’s note: thanks for providing the transcript Helps a lot with accessibility!) Certainly not Wave Larry. BELOVED BLASEBALL TEAM MIAMI DALE TURNS DOWN LAUNDERING DEAL By Wave Larry // Pictures by Mister Wife The MiamiContinue reading “Dale Turn Down Mysterious Money Laundering Offer”
(Legal note: if this photo is real and not photoshopped –and who can tell these days– the above headline is true for sure. If it is photoshopped, sorry, I guess. Again, we’re just publishing evidence as we get it.) The Commisioner stole candy from a baby. LoaFi
(This probably isn’t legit, but someone submitted it, and it could be, right? We’re just passing along the evidence as we receive it.) Found this on the commissioner’s desk, also accidentally scanned my spicy milk recipe so that’s my bad, but the Commissioner stuff is all legit. jt islandemoji Image text: From the desk ofContinue reading “Parker Confession?”
Comment: WE TOOK THIS PHOTO OF THE BOSS EARLY BEFORE THE START OF THE ELEVENTH SEASON OF THE SPLORT OF BLASEBALL. THE PHOTO CLEARLY SHOWS THE BOSS HOARDING MONEY AND MOCKING THOSE WITHOUT. WE ARE DURHAM SPACEMAN.
(Once again, we can not verify this very real looking document, or speak to how it was obtained.) Comments with submission: Crabs cannot practice law. The Commissioner’s counsel is invalid.