Comment: I have potential evidence of game manipulation by the powers that be, along with statistics pertaining to how long one can live off peanuts. Due to the lack of the safety net provided by Eat The Rich, and this “random” event that has occurred to me, I only have enough food for 2-3 days. Ok, I suppose I could have just made 10 bad bets all at once, but the fact this is even allowed to happen shows a level of carelessness by the powers that be towards us impoverished Blaseball fans.
Discord user twotwos#5985
(editorial note: follow us on this logically flawless journey in 4 images)
Comment: WE TOOK THIS PHOTO OF THE BOSS EARLY BEFORE THE START OF THE ELEVENTH SEASON OF THE SPLORT OF BLASEBALL. THE PHOTO CLEARLY SHOWS THE BOSS HOARDING MONEY AND MOCKING THOSE WITHOUT.
A phenomenal submission by the Blaseball Wiki team w/ the commentary: Arguing that the Commissioner and Ump Pope Sunman are bad at containing the chaos of Blaseball, and as such, naturally forgot to run Eat the Rich
(When you click this image, you’ll get taken to a Google Drive site where the audio is hosted)
The optimal experience for this evidence is through listening, so if you’re able, please listen by clicking the image above, or right here! It is really well done. However, if you’re not able or not in a position to do so, we’ve done our best to transcribe the piece below:
(Spooky noises in the background)
Hey, I brought this up on Twitter but I want to enter it into the record, officially: So I volunteer for the Tartarus Boatman Fund. We’re a charitable organization for the dead who can’t afford to cross into Hades proper, and things are pretty tight over here what with us being you know… a non-profit, and also there being a limitless number of the dead – past, present and future. And we really rely on Eat the Rich payouts to keep the lights on, the wheels turning. So without this season’s payout, we- we’re pretty backed up. It’s getting pretty bad.
(Spooky slow voice, interrupting: He pushed me!)
Hey, C’mon guys let’s keep this in an orderly line.
(Back & forth argument about whether or not someone was pushed intensifying)
We’re all here to get to our eternal reward or endless suffering. THere’s no need to be rude. Ok.
(Argument between the dead continues)
So yeah, I’d estimate that we have maybe a week til the dead start to overflow the gates and spill out into the land of the living, sooo… unless we get some cash info, that’s going to be your October and maybe November & December.
We’ve gotta get eat the rich started again or Christmas is going to be… real spooky.
Rather than give every meme submitted its own post, we’re going to collect all of the things here that left us chuckling and/or scratching our heads a bit about why it was submitted. This post will be added to as more submissions of this variety come in. All posts are formatted as follows:
Comment
Submitted By
Image(s)
He keeps stressing me out!!! this has nothing to do with the case he justt keeps stealing my pens and i want you to get his ass for me
Assistant manager jane business
“Green Sus”
Red
An artistic interpretation of my dejection at not being able to enjoy the process of eating the rich
Yeah sure, go ahead. I’m sure that this is some good, delicious evidence.
My vibes were irreparably damaged
ch00beh
Character witness against the defendant: How are we supposed to trust our commissioner when he won’t even say Cell Barajas?
Yes, I stand by my words
I once saw Parker post “what” on twitter. That’s parobably pretty danging evidence of something.
Why wouldn’t I? Oh gosh… is there a reason I shouldn’t?
The boss
Idk
parker stole my lunch money
Miriam Webster
After joining Blaseball and supporting the crabs in season 8, I was compensated for their wins. But after the Coin appeared, and the Crabs ascended, I received no compensation for their 1 (one) win.
D-Com
An image of how I was effected by not reciving EtR payout
Beefox
Eat the Rich with shredded cheese
I’m hungry and the rich are just sitting there, uneaten. How could you?!
Da Mills baby
I’ve got nothing, gonna be honest
i mean if you can sure, but i dont think this is going to help
The Taco Identification chart, which identifies all things as tacos, including but not limited the ILB in all shapes and forms. Conclusion: the ILB is edible.
The Bird of Communications, Taco Scientist
I was going to buy buffalo…. Now I can’t….
Buffalo McWingface
Once I ate candy and I think it was expired and this girl sold it to me for 2 bucks but I’m sure it was only worth 1.5 bucks
the cute dog in the photo 🙂
I’m just hanging out, keepin it wavy baby yeah. But also we gotta eat that coin for sure. The coin is not vibes. Anyway the evidence is just my weird dog. She would eat the coin
Jay
I love MeatCute and MeatCute loves everyone
Polycrates
My coin account at the beginning of the season, reading 26 coins
trucy
🧀
Chicago
I was hungry and didnt get dinner
Teddy
I did not receive my money as a member of the 99%
Selene
I’m providing nothing as evidence. This evidence presented is the total lump sum of coins I was presented with at the end of season 10, and pending litigation, 11 too. As a relative newcomer to this wonderful splort, beginning at the end of season 8, the lack of eating the rich directly harmed my experience going forward.
Redrakerbz
(Above is a white .png called “nothing.png”. It is as advertised)
Screencap of my financial state, in which I hold 1882 Coins and 1600 Votes (red circle added for emphasis). Evidence to support the fact I relied on Eat the Rich to invest my wealth in Votes so as to not lose those Coins to being eaten, as I had accumulated a total of ~150K Coins before the Election.
GoonerBear
proof that eat the rich is in fact still in the book! (sorry if this has already been submitted)
INCINERATED_faker_pope_sunman
Attached is an image of my bank account after the CEO’s negligence to disperse 2 vital Eat The Rich Funds.
My empty wallet due to the lack of ETA
Anonymous picture provided to Case Sports.
Parker stole my rights.
Hello is this how graphs work
A musing as to if the coin is false…that ended up becoming a haiku.
Daydream
As a new follower of the league, the failure of the Commissioner to enforce his Eat the Rich Decree has hamstrung my potential earnings and has disenfranchised us new recruits. I don’t understand how I am meant to are love blaseball in this economy without redistributive policy.
NY Millenials
Eat the Rich!
Dark Seattle
Comment: I hereby submit a spiced milk
Comment: Some bloke at the pub told me everything, it’s all true! I think he was called Bob? Bobert? Something like that.
Someone named Bob or Bobert
Comment: ham and cheese sandwich for the evidence team, have a nice lunch
the commisioner, for NO REASON AT ALL, does not know who carl is! this clearly means that the commisioner is not to be trusted! also i can conform that i, did in fact witness the rich not being eaten.
someone who loves carl
sinistar hungers, let us eat the rich please, it’s for your own good.
Comment: The rich exist, we know who they are. As proven by Crab LLC records.
(Legal Team disclaimer: we don’t know how these records were obtained and didn’t vet them. Also, yes, they sent us the entirety of the Communist Manifesto.)
Comment submitted with document, by Mar (She/Her) (Author) and Em (They/Them) (Scribe):
An open letter from the Magic announcing our formal support for the Millenials, in which lay out our need for ETR and also warn that the world might end if the Mills lose. Just putting it out there. This is not a threat, it is a promise.
when the season started i didnt get my money from killing rich people n somehow ended up in negatives. if i had more money this wouldn’t have happened. also this is unrelated but i am requesting an ability to legally be allowed to boo during court hearings. no heckling, just booing. love from hellmouth!
Eat The Rich Class Action 